I should have been a leader. I was named Judas after the great patriarch Judah, first among the 12 tribes of Israel. I should have been first among the 12, not Peter. But there is no other way. I have done unspeakable things. I betrayed my master. I am the voice of betrayal. I deserve to die. Yes, that will be the end.
At least then no one will be able to use me, ever again. I hate it when people use me. The religious leaders tried to use me. All they wanted was an opportunity to arrest Jesus without creating a riot. I gave them that opportunity. They used me. They paid me off.
I thought Jesus wanted to use me too. He wanted to use me to build His kingdom. And He wanted to change me. I could see it in His eyes every time the money box came up short. Jesus knew I was stealing. He knew all about me and should have hated me. I could fool everyone except Him. I grew to hate Him. This tree and this cliff will put an end to all of their plans. He wanted me, but only on His terms. I will not belong to another. I will not be the possession of anyone. Well, I shall be no use to Him now. No more errand boy. No more teacher’s helper. No one can help Him now. They have Him.
Voice of betrayal
April 7, 2012 by joyfulpapist